1:1 Coaching with Thomas Backhausen
You already know something needs to change.
Most men I work with aren't broken. They're just stuck in patterns they can't quite see — especially in their relationships. Together, we go beneath the surface and build something that actually lasts.
RECOGNITION
This might
be for you if…
Most men I work with aren't broken. They're stuck in patterns they can't quite see — especially in their closest relationships.
You keep ending up in the same place in relationships — even with different people.
You feel like you're performing a version of yourself rather than actually living.
You want to be a better partner, but don't know where to start.
You've read the books and know the theory — but nothing has really shifted yet.
Something keeps going wrong, and deep down, you know it starts with you
THE WORK
What we do together
This is 1:1 coaching built around your specific patterns, your life, and what's actually getting in the way. No cookie-cutter programs. No hustle mantras. We work on the things that matter — and we go deep.
The Format
Bi-weekly 60-minute sessions via video call. Between sessions, you have direct access to me for questions and reflections.
The Focus
Relationship patterns, self-awareness, emotional regulation, identity and values — the internal work that changes everything else.
The Commitment
Minimum 3 months. Real change takes time. I only work with men who are ready to show up consistently.
A BIT ABOUT ME
I'm Thomas — a Danish commercial lawyer turned entrepreneur, currently living in Costa Rica. I've built companies, opened restaurants and cocktail bars, studied acting in Los Angeles, and followed my ambition across continents.
The work that changed my life wasn't any of that. It was recognizing the patterns I kept repeating in my closest relationships — and having the courage to look at them honestly.
That's what I guide other men through. Not from a textbook, but from experience.
FAQs
Q4: I've tried therapy before and it didn't work. How is this different?
Therapy and coaching are different tools. Therapy is often about understanding where you came from. Coaching is about where you're going and what's getting in the way right now. I'm not a therapist — I'm a man who has done both, and I know the difference from the inside. Some men need therapy. Some need coaching. Some need both. On our intro call, I'll tell you honestly which I think applies to you — even if that means I'm not the right fit.
Q5: What if I'm not sure I'm ready?
That uncertainty is almost always a sign that you are. The men who aren't ready don't ask the question — they don't even find this page. Book the intro call. It's free, it's 30 minutes, and there's no pressure. We'll have an honest conversation about where you are, and you'll know by the end whether this is right for you.
Q6: Do you work with men in relationships or only single men?
Both. Some men I work with are single and repeating patterns from previous relationships. Others are in relationships and can feel something isn't working — either in how they show up, or in the dynamic itself. The common thread is always the same: the work starts with you, not with your partner.
Q7: Can we work together if I'm not Danish?
Absolutely. Sessions are conducted in English or Danish — whichever feels most natural to you. I work with men across Europe and beyond. Everything happens online, so location is never a barrier.
Q1: Do you have a coaching certification?
No — and I want to be upfront about that. My authority comes from living it: years of recognizing my own patterns, doing the work, and coming out the other side with a clarity I couldn't have bought in a classroom. I've also read widely, worked with therapists and coaches myself, and continue to do so. What I offer is a guide who has walked the path — not a technician with a certificate. If that resonates with you, we're probably a good fit.
Q2: What does coaching with you actually look like?
We meet bi-weekly on video call for 60 minutes. Before each session you'll reflect on what's present for you — what's working, what isn't, what keeps coming up. In the sessions we go beneath the surface: we look at patterns, not just symptoms. Between sessions you have direct access to me for questions, insights, or when something comes up that can't wait. It's structured, but it breathes.
Q3: How long does it take to see results?
That depends on how ready you are to be honest with yourself. Most men notice a shift in awareness within the first few sessions — suddenly you can see the pattern while it's happening, not just afterwards. Deeper change — in how you show up in relationships, how you talk to yourself — that takes 2-3 months of consistent work. That's why I don't offer single sessions. I work in minimum 3-month packages.
READY TO START?
The first step is
a conversation.
A free 30-minute intro call. No pressure, no pitch — just an honest conversation about where you are and whether we're a good fit.
Free · 30 minutes · No commitment